Daily Archives: January 6, 2013

The Coffee Quiz!

So here is The Coffee Quiz! Not just any coffee quiz, but “The” coffee quiz with an exclamation point as well. A fellow blogger prodded me to fork over my answers. Ok I guess, but I’m not a coffee drinker. Thanks Maddie. Like I need homework.

- How many cups of coffee per day?
I will not drink it here or there. I will not drink it anywhere.
I might have some copyright issues with this response. So, zero, is my real answer.
- What is your favorite caffeine delivery system?
Currently I have decided remove cola from my world. Since the New Year I have had zero pop. Zero soda for that matter. So my favorite delivery system is/was cola-cola – main lined from a dirty syringe. I would never dream of simply drinking it.
- What was your best cup of coffee?
This is a tough one since I am not a coffee drinker. I would have to say it was a tall glass of coffee with cold milk, hold the coffee. A lot of people call this simply a glass of milk, but I see it as my best cup of coffee.
- What was your worst cup of coffee?
This memory is too painful to talk about. I have petitioned The Coffee Quiz! committee to allow me to skip this section of the quiz. The final ruling is expected any day now. Until then, I will hold this horrible memory in silence.
- What does your favorite mug say?
My favorite mug does not actually have the ability to speak. So, it also remains silent.  I have a couple of greeting cards that actually speak.  If only this was The Greeting Card Quiz!
- How do you take your coffee?
Somehow this question feels like a repeat. I take my coffee with milk. One hundred percent milk. Zero percent coffee.
- When was your first cup?
I think I have tried coffee from time to time. The last attempt was many years ago now. Probably a decade at least. I can’t begin to enjoy coffee due to remembering this guy I worked with a couple of decades ago. His coffee breath was strong enough to melt my desire to enjoy a cup of coffee. What if I was that guy with the coffee breath? I can’t push past that memory.
- Have you ever gone on a coffee date?
Actually, this is where the quiz would actually apply to me. The wife and I go to this little coffee shop on our date nights. We simply hang out there. She is a fake coffee drinker. This means that she’ll order something with a ton of sweet stuff in it and a splash of actual coffee. I guess that makes it an actual coffee order. I always order the hot chocolate.

So there you have it. The Coffee Quiz! has come to completion. It was everything I dreamed it would be.
Can you image dreaming of The Coffee Quiz!? That would be one lame dream.
Buy my book for your coffee table.